i suppose childhood began when i was born - September 16th, 1983, in ann arbor, michigan. i am the first child of my parents - my sister wasn't born for another three and a half years. i lived in the same house for the first twelve years of my life - a teeny, 2 bedroom, one story house on half an acre of land on Kuehnle Street, on the west side of Ann Arbor. there were lots of trees and even a "jungle" in the backyard. for the most part, my childhood was actually pretty happy and kind of regular and boring - on paper. i won't talk about the bad parts - heh, how's that for selective memory? those didn't concern my parents and my regular upbringing, and are not what shapes most of who i am today. i hope. i spent a lot of my time alone - my mom worked midnights, and so would be sleeping during the day - and my dad was (is) a mailman, so he would be at work. this included a lot of playing outside and - heh heh - anywhere from two to fourteen imaginary friends! i have a journal that i wrote in second grade in which i refer to playing with my 'amagnare' friends...this was even after my sister was born, as she was so young that it was difficult to play with her. along with the imagination came stuffed animals who most definitely had feelings. for the most part, my parents definitely paid enough attention to me - we always were going to zoos, model railroads (the kind you can ride!), and on a whole lot of family vacations. i think the aloneness that i felt resulted more from being different from my peers - as has seemed to be the curse of the Kurtz family going way back. i spent a lot of time at the neighbor's house, the Mann family, and they were so different from my own, it made me feel a little bit like an alien! i was quite a 'voracious' reader and was not afraid to describe myself as such. a lot happens to a kid when she spends half of her time existing in other worlds through books! i was kind of a loner, but i liked it better that way. if i had the choice between playing outside with friends and sitting inside reading a book, i would choose the book! i was reading A Wrinkle in Time and The Chronicles of Narnia by first grade, and Anne of Green Gables, my all-time favorite book, shortly thereafter. i would anxiously await Thursday evenings in the spring and summer months, as that is when the Bookwagon came to my neighborhood - oh, how fantastic! a traveling little library! i repeatedly checked out this book called Wren, about a little girl with cerebral palsy, written in the 1940s by her mother. i asked for this book for Christmas that year (second grade i believe) and my mother couldn't find it in the store - but she did find the original version of the book - Karen, the same story, but intended for adults! this didn't stop me from reading it - though i understood probably half of it at the time, i finished the 300+ page book in a few months and moved on to the sequel, With Love from Karen. now, i wasn't some crazy genius child, i just loved to read. i was also a huge fan of The Baby-Sitters Club books, and read over 100 of them throughout elementary school. i was one of those kids who actually enjoyed school- at least until eighth grade or so. this perhaps made me sort of a nerd, though i suppose my social awkwardness contributed to the situation...i had just enough friends to keep me entertained. another form of entertainment that i was quite active in was ballet class. i started at four years old, and finished when i was eleven at the onset of my period (which prevented me from attending class at least once a month, and also contributed to a very quick weight gain - a fat ballerina is not a fabulous one!). i loved ballet, the smell of the leather shoes, the music, the costumes and outfits, the imagination of graceful movement - but i wasn't really all that good. i went en pointe in my last year or so, and something that had been a source of relief - to release any pent-up anger i might have had or just to quell my need for physical exercise - changed into a difficult and beyond challenging contest with my growing body. i was awkward, and it was made all the more clear when put in front of a full-length mirror with ten or so other girls who were still in control of their limbs. so, i quit - not without drama, of course - and went on with my life. i no longer feel a void, because around the time i quit i became more interested in playing the flute, which served as another source for alleviation of frustrations and pain. one thing that changed my life drastically at the age of seven was the death of my paternal grandmother. to this day my dad and uncles constantly tell me that i am just like her - a Virgo, naggingly organized and analytical. it's not without love that they say this. however, it was my first experience with death. i still can't talk very long about my grandma without getting choked up. a few days before she died, she came to one of my ballet recitals, even though she had to be carried out of the car, and brought me roses. she was an amazing woman, and her life is a source of inspiration for me. the rest of childhood passed relatively smoothly. i was in girlscouts for a while, progressing from the "daisies" stage through 6th grade official G.S. i was always very anxious about things - particularly starting 6th grade (i would stay awake at night and flip out about trying to get my locker open!).

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